Take Me To Neverland

I'm just as guilty as the next person when it comes to rushing through my years. We all know that feeling. Wanting to quickly grow up always wishing you were older. I know, myself, I had this idea in my mind that the older you were the better you were. I constantly wished I was another year older, I my final few years imagining my life in high school and I can honestly say that it definitely did not amount to what I had thought. If I had taken more time to appreciate my life as I was living it I probably wouldn't be so upset with myself now for rushing through everything that could have made a great memory. This may explain my ongoing obsession with everything Disney and playing in snow, or really anything remotely childlike. I'm not ready to grow up and I may never be a hundred percent ready. In a way I can see why I love Peter Pan as much as I do. I love the youthfulness that he represents and I always imagine myself being dragged away to Neverland where it is acceptable to be childlike, after all adults aren't allowed. Unfortunately I'm too old for that. I miss the days of my naiveness. The days I believed in things like Santa and the Easter Bunny. There is no clear division in which I stopped believing because I held onto it for so long. It was something I still can't bare to let go of and every time I refer to Santa when talking to a little child, there's a sadness in me because I know that one day that excitement will end for them too. I still remember the day that my 10 year old sister, 8 at the time, asked me if Santa was just my mom and dad. My heart broke and I strongly enforced that Santa was indeed real, I still don't know for sure if she believed me, but I hope for the sake of her childhood that she did.
In a previous blog post where I answered 50 questions to free my mind, I stated that if I could go back to any age I would choose 12, but now that I have thought more about it, I want to go back to a 5 year old. Still young and innocent and filled with great images and dreams about the world and wishing Peter Pan would come and take me away.